Do you every wonder what’s going on in the space between us? Where do I end, where do you begin, and where do we exist together? As someone who has done a lot of professional and personal and personal work in developing healthy boundaries, I find this fascinating and complex to think about.
When I’m feeling secure, this space can be a rich place of growing and learning. What do I want or need or have to offer in this situation? What is going on for the other person? Can we hear each other if we are in a conflict? Can we work together in creative problem-solving? Do we trust each other? Will each of our concerns be respected? Can we both say: “Yes’ or ‘Maybe’ or ‘No”?
One of the reasons I love using simple improv activities in teaching communication and related skills is that the YES AND philosophy provides many opportunities to explore this space.
In the following 1.5 minute clip, my friend and colleague, Liz Korabek-Emerson, MFA and I are participating in an activity called Word-At-A-Time Story. We’re obviously having a lot of fun and….
What else is going on?
Did you notice moments where we were connected and collaborating with ease and moments when we were not?
How about moments where either of us struggled, even just a bit, to come up with an idea or let an idea go? Were there opportunities to practice patience? Trust? Presence? Listening?
Did you notice us trying to read into what the other was thinking? Did we cut each other a little slack at times?
Any other observations?
The “Relational Field” is Trending
Communication is so much more than verbal and nonverbal language. It also involves relationships. How they were, how they are, and how we want them to be. Which makes it infinitely more complex! Add how difficult it is to change behavior and the impact of workplace or other culture and it is even more complex. Given all of this, it is exciting to know how this field is growing. Here are a couple of samples.
Professor of Psychiatry and Author Daniel Siegel, MD coined the term “MWE” to describe an evolving the notion of the self, from an isolated and separate ‘me’ to a relational, awe-embracing integrated sense. The tag line to his new book, Intraconnected, MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging offers reasoning to understand this concept.
Thomas Hübl, PhD, renowned teacher, author, and international facilitator works within the complexity of systems and cultural change by integrating the core insights of the great wisdom traditions and mysticism with the discoveries of science. In his new book, Attuned he offers an exploration of the “relational field,” the intersubjective realm of human experience.
The Experience
While these visionary leaders are paving the way to greater understanding of what is going on between us, you can experience it!
Get a friend, family member or colleague to tell a story with you. Like Liz and I, one word at a time. See what you experience! Use one of these titles or make up one of your own:
- The Three-legged Cat
- The Scary Trip to the North Pole
- The Talking Spoon
Start out with once…upon…a…time and see what happens.
And, please let me know: beth@bethboynton.com. I’d love to hear what stories you come with. How the experience was for you. What you learned about the space, yourself, each other.
Ending on a Practical Note
All of these learnings are so important in our ability to provide safe, compassionate care and to sustain rewarding careers. If you’d like to learn more about this concept, please join me for a free 90 min online session:
“YES AND” 101 for Healthcare & Mental Health Care Visionaries!
Oh and if you’d like to hear the whole story about “The Old Woman & the Eggs” you’ll find it here.
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